The Big Squeeze: the ever rising costs of just about everything

Is it the goal of every business, public institution, or organization to squeeze as much money out of us as possible? I think so.

Here are some reasons why.

The costs for essential services or products routinely go up.

Prices for essential products or services increase (e.g. rent, plane fares, bank fees, insurance premiums, co-pays, or pharmaceutical drugs) annually or regularly. I never know the rationale for such increases, but I'm guessing it's partly because consumers (as a group) don't question them; we just pay up.

"Free" stuff now comes with ads.

TV advertisements inundate every medium, even those that used to be ad-free--blog posts, YouTube videos, and "free" movie apps (such as TUBI). 

Admission prices often out of reach.

Admissions to theme parks, celebrity concerts, movie theaters, and major zoos can be out of reach for many low-income persons and families.

For example, one major zoo charges $56 for adults (12 and up) and $46.00 for children (3-11). A family of four would pay $204 for a 1-day pass.

Extra cruise activities/events can come with a cost.

On-board beauty workshops, seminars on art, or port talks seem geared toward making sales rather than sharing information with cruisers, who already have spent hundreds of dollars on airfare, cabins, port tours, drink packages and gratuities. 

Cable service is expensive.

Cable companies constantly push add-ons (e.g. enhanced Internet service) to their basic service. My cable bill (minus any add-ons) is close to $200 per month (14% of my rent and more than my car insurance). 

I pay for channels that I never watch--foreign language news, sports programming, outdoors programs, and countless lesser known TV channels featuring old TV shows, and even older, movies.

There is no option to choose programing tailored to my actual viewing habits--5 channels and two premium channels. 

Hotels have resorted to "resort fees." 

Recently, the local news in Las Vegas reported that guests are fed up paying "resort fees" at large hotel chains. Fees at Strip hotels range from $15.00 to $45.00 per day, per room.

One hotel, just outside Las Vegas, offers two- or three-day promotions for free rooms, free concert tickets, and free slot play (averaging about $30 per day).

I happily take advantage of these perks but spend enough on slots and food to pay for the free stuff.

In addition, I pay the resort fee of $18 per day (up from $12 a couple of years ago). 

Airline baggage fees can add hundreds of dollars to a fare.

The most confusing and scary part of a recent trip was determining how to avoid excess baggage fees. I am no good at measuring whether my bag has "...max linear dimensions of 62 inches" or whether it weighs X number of pounds. (No big scale at home, duh.) 

So, I guesstimate. As it turns out, my bag was overweight by one pound, but the agent allowed it to go through. 

On the return trip, I was 4 pounds overweight and had to re-pack (on the floor in a crowded wait area). I got it under 40 pounds, but misplaced my passport in the process. 

I had pre-paid $35.00 for one bag and would have had to pay another $30 for up to 50 excess pounds. 

One of my fellow travelers paid $150 in excess baggage fees.

Options, please

I realize that businesses, organizations, and institutions also must pay for goods and services and need to cover costs.

Still, consumers have fewer and fewer options in the marketplace to lower living expenses or to control how much we pay for insurance coverage (health, car, home), rent, food or electronic devices.

I 'd love to hear your comments about any fees, charges, or add-ons that drain money from your bank account.

Face Time

I avoid mirrors; they lie, deceive, and confuse.

Whose face is that with deep crevices around the mouth, dark circles under the eyes, and sagging jawline?

Mine?

I search in vain for the woman (girl?) who once attracted males so eager to please whenever I stepped up to a counter, entered a room, or needed assistance.

I look, but she's gone.

Consequently, my new (old) face, avoids selfies, group shots or live-chats.

Most of the women in my family, on the other hand, are hooked on selfies. Why not? They're still young or young-ish. Wrinkles and frown lines are of no concern.

In September 1983, my mother--who died in 2015 at age 95--wrote an article for Essence magazine "Act My Age? At My Age?" describing her reaction to aging:

"I gazed in wonderment and disbelief at the drawn face! Whose face was that? Where was the smooth-complexioned, somewhat attractive face that I had been accustomed to seeing so many mornings? And when had that youthful face drifted into the past--leaving only a reasonable facsimile of me?"

Exactly.

Some of you are probably thinking, "Get over it. Everybody gets old."

True, yet, older women, unlike older men, aren't considered "distinguished" or "handsome," or "dignified." Well into their sixties and seventies, men date or marry women of all ages.

I despise the unflattering misconceptions about older women. Too often, we are considered:

• asexual
• physically unattractive
• "cougars" (read: predators) if we date younger men

Martha B. Holstein, guest editor for 2017-2018 edition of Generations, published by the American Society on Aging writes: 

"The message is clear and powerful--we are not socially valued, except in specific situations like the cuddly grandma role, and we are not expected to have anything to contribute. Each morning when I open my newspaper and scan the news from Washington, D.C., I am presented with a sea of men in suits. People that look like me are rarely at the table while matters affecting our lives are discussed. When other features of our identity-race, class, and disability--are added in, the potential for exclusion expands." 

Into her nineties, my mother, "Miss Kitty," would smile brightly for photos, not the least bit self-conscious about her aging countenance. 

The article explains her epiphany:

"...I took another look (in the mirror)…staring back at me...was the reflection of an older woman (who) appeared to be well-adjusted to and quite satisfied...that she was not only a mother and great-grandmother, but a great-great grandmother...I gave a silent prayer of thanks for my good health and for an astute and very active mind."

I loved my mother's 95-year old face! Above all, I cherished her quick wit, feisty spirit, and unabashed love of self.

She's my role model for accepting inevitable physical changes to my face and body and ignoring other's misguided perceptions of me.

Now, you might be wondering, "How old is she?"

Well, let's say, I am lucky enough to be blessed with four children, 12 grandchildren, and 12 great-grandchildren, all of whom love me just as I am.

Likewise, my interest in writing, politics, music, technology, environmental issues, animal welfare, and contemporary culture keeps my mind sharp and my ideas relevant.

Meanwhile, I continue to work toward greater self-acceptance. 

Thank you, Miss Kitty.

My "Black Panther" Experience

A large tub of popcorn in hand, I settled into my--almost front row--leather reclining seat and suffered through at least 7 or 8 previews. What the hell?

I couldn't wait to see this film that has had such a phenomenal opening--both critically and financially.

Secretly, however, I was afraid that I might be disappointed despite Rotten Tomatoes' Critics Consensus: "Black Panther elevates superhero cinema to thrilling new heights while telling one of MCU's most absorbing stories--and introducing some of its most fully realized characters."

While black moviegoers were holding our breaths in anticipation, "others," I am sure, were hoping/expecting that it would be a superhero flick in black face, full of braggadocio and
non-stop wisecracks.

Panther is, in fact, a serious work that pays homage to ancestors, traditions, African culture and ingenuity, women, elders, and ritual; much of which is no longer valued in contemporary African American life.

Director/Writer Ryan Coogler, 31, infuses it with humor, pathos, inter-generational conflict, and social commentary; this movie is just the shot in the arm we need in the face of rising neo-Nazism, white supremacy, and hate-mongering.

Unfortunately, we still live in an America where we must prove that black lives matter.

Kudos to some of the best actors in film today: Chadwick Boseman, Michael B. Jordan, Lupito Nyong'o, Danai Gurira, Daniel Kaluuya, Sterling K. Brown, Winston Duke, Forest Whitaker, Angela Bassett, and Leticia Wright.

Might this film be an Oscar contender? Don't know, but it has already won the hearts of millions.

Black sitcoms: funny and relevant

I am not a fan of most TV sitcoms.

Most involve white, middle-class families in two-parent households who live in a never-never-land where the most serious problems are: Who will Bobby take to the prom? How will we get rid of an annoying in-law. How to get the nerdy guy a date?

To my mind, some of the best TV sitcoms feature black characters who are consistently funny and relevant.

"Everybody Loves Chris" is a sitcom loosely based on Chris Rocks' growing up years in Brooklyn, New York; his  family lives in a low-income neighborhood rife with crime, drug dealing, and shady characters who are as much a fabric of the community as the hardworking families. (Show received 51 nominations and won 7, including AFI, British Comedy Awards, and NAACP Image Awards.) 

"Martin" is a comedy that never attempts to be anything but relevant to black viewers. What makes it hilarious are the characters who look and act like people I might know. (Show received 11 nominations and 6 wins, including NAACP Image Awards, Kids' Choice Awards, and People's Choice Awards.)

"My Wife and Kids," starring Damon Wayans and Keisha Campbell, is non-stop jokes. As parents to three kids, they embody the middle-class lifestyle but always fall back on old-school parenting that brooks no nonsense from smart-mouth kids. They often bicker and disagree about the best ways to raise/punish/support their brood, yet they always end up doing what is best. (Show received 36 nominations and 10 wins, including BET Comedy Awards, Family Television Awards, NAACP Image Awards, People's Choice Awards, and Prism Awards. 

"The Bernie Mac Show" is brilliant. His asides to the camera contrast with his on-screen actions. He is an avid believer in "spare the rod and spoil the child." Much of the humor grows out of the clash of parenting methods between Mac and his wife. The kids are always messing with him, and he constantly plots revenge against them. What makes this show touching is that Mac is raising his drug-addict sister's children. Sadly, this comedic giant died too soon. (Bernie was nominated numerous times as lead actor (Golden Globes, Screen Actors Guild, Primetime Emmy, and Family Television Awards but won BET Comedy Awards twice and NAACP Image Awards five times.) 

"Blackish" ( Tuesdays, 10 PM on ABC) is a fresh take on the black family. Anthony Anderson is a successful ad man (Dre Johnson) whose colleagues are not the least bit politically correct; Tracee Ellis Ross (Rainbow) is superb as a successful physician, frequently in conflict over her roles as black woman, wife, and doctor. Their kids, on the other hand, are happy with all the privileges and perks afforded by their parents' success.

Success, however, doesn't shield them from the misconceptions and biases that African Americans confront everyday.

One memorable episode finds Rainbow and her younger daughter shopping at American Doll; they want to by a black doll, so the salesperson brings out a doll seemingly dressed as a slave. Bo indignantly asks why is the only black doll is dressed so. Her daughter, on the other hand, wonders why her mother is making such a fuss. A generational divide for sure.

I hope that other black sitcoms in the works are funny while depicting the many aspects of the black experience in America.

Will the Real Donald Trump Stand Up?

WILL THE REAL DONALD TRUMP STAND UP?  

Forgive me, but I simply cannot take President Donald Trump seriously as the leader of the Western world.

He is such a self-promoting, egotist; I cannot imagine him standing before Congress delivering the State of the Union address or conducting Cabinet meetings, or hosting foreign dignitaries at the White House

It is difficult to believe that the former reality TV star is capable of running the business of the United States.

Equally difficult, is divorcing his pre-election utterances, rants, and obscenities from his now-milder persona.

Who is Donald Trump really? Was he faking his tough-on-everything stance or is he faking his current moderate views on these issues?

Behind Closed Doors: Michelle and Obama

In the final few days of the Obama Administration, it seemed apropos to re-post this blog written before he got a second term. Despite some outdated references, I think the idea is relevant. Enjoy.

Michelle and Barack Obama are unlike any presidential couple this country has ever seen. And I'm not just referencing their color.

They seem like ordinary people who happen to be the President and First Lady. I would feel right at home in their company, talking and laughing with them about any number of topics.

They appear down-to-earth...and cool.

I can imagine the conversations that go on behind closed doors:

Michelle: Whew! Am I glad to be home.

Obama: Remind me again. Why did I take this job.?

Michelle: Because you wanted to make a difference. Be a different kind of politician.

Obama: Jeez, I'm trying my best to do things that matter--help community colleges, give health care to the uninsured, get gas-guzzling clunkers off the road, speak to kids as their President, offer incentives to companies that produce energy-efficient products and services.

Michelle: I know.

Obama: Instead, my ratings keep dropping...and worse, some folks seem thrilled by this.

Michelle: Sure do.

Obama: How about that Glenn Beck calling me racist? I'm biracial, with parents from two continents, have lived in Indonesia and Hawaii, and have done community organizing in economically-devastated sections of Chicago. Maybe, he meant that I don't like white people...my grandparents were white, dude.

Michelle: I don't understand why my outfits are the subject of such attention--my shorts (at Martha's Vineyard), my sweater (in Europe), my sleeveless dresses, my handbag. Don't Americans have more important things to worry about?

Obama::(Chuckles) Hey, I'm soft, haughty, inexperienced, and a closet-Muslim.

Michelle: Folks even criticized us for having dinner in NY. Think we should be chained to our desks.

Obama:I'd better push through as much of my agenda as I can. 'Cause, I don't think I'll get a second term.

Michele: You've had the country's top job; where do you go from here?

Obama: First, I'm going to have a burger and a smoke.

Michelle: I'll lose these pearls and slip into a sleeveless top and jeans.

Obama: Yeah.

(In)Human Nature

It is easy to become disillusioned with human beings in light of daily injustices, atrocities, and mass killings.

Disillusionment is behind every "riot" that erupts when another black man is shot by a police officer.

Disillusionment keeps women who have been raped from stepping forward to confront their attacker(s).

Disillusionment prevents victims of human trafficking from escaping their captures.

Disillusionment stops otherwise concerned citizens from voting.

Disillusionment fuels frustration that comes after dealing with companies/corporations that pursue profits over customer satisfaction.

Disillusionment results when whistle blowers end up disgraced, financially-ruined, or vilified after exposing corruption or injustice.

I could go on.

What saves us from absolute disillusionment, however, are (extra)ordinary acts of compassion by:

• A retiree who feeds the homeless from his pension.
• A corporate employee whose advice saves you hundreds of dollars.
• A citizen who risks his/her life to save another.
• A  journalist who risks his career to highlight corruption or injustice.
• An organization that strives to free those wrongfully imprisoned.

There is hope for the human race; just look beyond the horror stories heralded in the media to those small acts of mercy, courage, and generosity that often follow in their wake.