This Writer's Life

First, let me point out that no matter what jobs I've held--from HIV educator to adult education instructor--my primary identity, at least to my mind, is Writer. Having read several books on the art and business of writing, I've learned that "serious" writers take their writing seriously!

Contrasting my writing habits with those of other well-known writers, I sometimes feel less than authentic. My writing "schedule" shifts with the demands on my time or my fatigue level. I've felt most like a real writer when working for a newspaper or magazine.

Since I haven't worked full time for either since 2001, the pressure to produce is less urgent. It's not that I lack projects; indeed, there are several that await completion.

The best part of my life is when I'm selecting from the thousands of words in my head to create language that persuades or explains.

So, why is it so difficult to consistently produce? Why do I value what others might assign me over my original ideas? Is it necessary to emulate writers who (can afford to) spend five to eight hours daily perfecting their craft? I am still searching for answers to these questions.

Several years ago, I read, How I Wrote Jubilee , an essay by writer Margaret Walker in which she explains why her book took 30 years to complete. Between teaching and other obligations, she confesses that she often couldn't find time to write. Walker describes herself as a "slow" writer.

I've also read, Stephen King's book, On Writing, which helped me to understand that my writing is a priority. I haven't earned a dime from writing in seven years. Nonetheless, what's important is to write, write, write.

And so, I will, ignoring the voice in my head that taunts me at every turn. "You've been out of the writing world for too long." "You'll never find a publisher for your book." "

I hereby give myself permission to tell my story in my own way, at my own pace, and on my own terms.